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Writer's pictureNichole Shirell

Remembering When I Didn't Love Myself

The revelation that heals hearts and fills it with Love! Finding Love Revised.

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.


Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.


Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.


And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13 NIV


Finding Love…

Three things: Self-Love, the love of Christ, Love for Others


Loving myself

It is my experience, when we do not love and value ourselves, we are a walking example of many of the things I Corinthians teaches Love is not. Finding love requires a supernatural examination of one’s heart, mind, and soul.


This examination through prayer and supplication will begin to reveal all the hurt, un-pure thoughts, malice, and deceit that is preventing us from clearly hearing what God is saying.

Personally for me, as my soul searched, longed and cried, for a clear two way line of communication to Jesus, I experienced an unrest. Waking most mornings asking: What do you want me to do, Lord?


The Love of God

Everywhere I turned I heard a faint whisper: Seek first the kingdom…

Seeking the kingdom lead me to the following scriptures:

1. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 NIV

2. "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. Luke 6:32 NIV

3. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them 1 John 4:16 NIV

After much meditation and prayer, I began to realize I did not love myself nor others the way God wants us to experience Love. The people in our lives, who have our ears, are a representation of who we are. SO it was clear, God was pushing me towards change.

My daily and constant mantra became: I love you and Jesus loves you.

I kept praying and the atmosphere began to move. God was working. The more I prayed the Louder his voice grew. Confused always apologizing but still praying. I began to have compassion for others. Their thoughts and feelings became my concern. When they cried we cried. I now know I couldn't give Love because I didn't love me. God is constantly placing people and experiences in our lives to remind us of his love. He is everywhere. Not only in our hearts, but, God is in every creation.


Loving others – The Prefect Example: Jesus

Giving your life for me, all your teachings inspiring me, covering me with forgivingness, showering me with grace, providing, guiding, protecting, issuing Mercy instead of punishment, and surrounding me in LOVE. Jesus is LOVE. Our example.

Food for thought: Why do we allow a situation, person or circumstance to invade our hearts and remove the love and peace that guards our hearts? Why do we search for love in all the wrong places?


I cannot answer. But, there is a better way.

I know this to be true: the best gift we can share is the gift of Love Jesus has for us. No one else has every sacrificed what he has for us.

You want to know the recipe? You want to know what you must do to experience this everlasting love.

Well here it is:

Jesus directs in the great commission: " 16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:16-20 NIV


His love lasts forever and ever more.

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