How I Escaped
Introduction
I was once a young woman fighting for peace. One Christmas, in the early ‘90s, my Mother and Grandmother visited me in Cleveland, Ohio. Violence escalated and I made up my mind I deserved to be free.
My son’s father lost his mind and in a fit of rage, because he could not hit me, rammed his vehicle into my car. Not once, but twice, he crashed his vehicle into the back of my car. I will never forget the sound as he backed up and hit my car again and again. He was angry not because he could not see his son, but because his friend told him we (my family and I) were in the house laughing at them.
So, that was his revenge. Destruction! The fighting escalated to destruction. And it was time to put it to an end, legally.
I don’t remember how Mama, my son and I got home. My car was destroyed. We made it safely. And, my mother went to work planning and creating a way for me to live. Actually, I don't remember existing. Everything happened in slow motion. The only thing I knew is that I refused to die or be bound to a man who wanted to own me.
The next day, we drove the banged-up car to an auto body shop. My mother did all of the talking. The mechanic said the A-Frame was bent but he could straighten it out. We had to leave it. We did and he did. Next, we caught a bus downtown Cleveland and filed charges against the assailant. After receiving a case number, we caught another bus to Euclid, Ohio and spoke to the Prosecutor. A man whom I had never met before reassured me and my mother that this man would not have an opportunity to cause havoc in his city. He wrote a letter warning him of severe consequences if he stepped a foot back in Euclid. The most important thing is that whatever he wrote worked. My attacker believed him.
Next, my mother explained the importance of changing patterns. I worked nights. I began parking my car in other parking areas in close proximity to the apartment where I lived. We covered my windows with newspaper. This action caused the abuser to believe I moved. I was able to continue my lease in peace until it was over. Then, I moved to an undisclosed location.
This is a brief summary of 2 years of chaos. Understand, I have been there. I got out. So, you can too. Let the professionals help you.
Safety
It is important that you contact authorities, file charges, and prosecute the individual hurting you.
Today, it is also important that you take pictures of cuts, bumps, bruises, burns, bites, etc. You may need to seek medical assistance for injuries. Document as much as you can.
Remember, social media bullying is a crime. In the event inappropriate photos are leaked of you, notify authorities. I repeat this is a crime and it is punishable by the legal system.
The List – Prepare & Plan for Freedom
Tip One: Place important papers in a waterproof/fireproof container. You will need the following:
Social Security Cards
Birth Certificates
Identification
Medical records
School Records
Life Insurance Policies
Tip Two: Change and destroy all written passwords for all online accounts.
Bank accounts
Emails
Utility Bills
IRS, State, Local
Cell phone accounts
Social Media
Church Organizations
Place of Employment
Pension
Medical
Dental
Vision
Car Insurance
· Entertainment Streaming Accounts
Amazon
Netflix
Hulu
Youtube
etc
· Shopping accounts
Walmart
JC Pennies,
ADT
Tip Three: Add or change all verbal code words
Tip Four: Add a two-step authentication process for your accounts
Tip Five: Protect your credit by applying all safeguards that prevent someone from using your name, credit, etc.
Tip Six: Do not share your plans with the world. Unfortunately, it is not always the best idea to share with friends and family. Some may be easily manipulated. Instead, contact the professionals. (See crisis numbers)
Tip Seven: Pray, Plan, Prepare,
One Call Away: Get Help
Local
Daybreak:
Location: non-disclosed
Email: daybreakshelter.org
Phone: 205-387-1157
Hours of Operations: 24 hours 7 days /week
YWCA: Immediate Help
Phone: 205.32. HURT (4878)
Hours of Operations: 24 hours 7 days /week
Jessie’s Place: Intermediate shelter for women and children
Location: Birmingham, Al
Email: latonya@jessieplace.com
Phone: 205-323-0170
Hours of Operations: Monday – Friday
National:
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
Web: www.thehotline.org
Phone: 800-799-7233 (E)
800-787-3224 (S)
Hours of Operations: 24 hours 7 days /week
Finally, I leave you with wisdom my mother shared with me: "You are not thrown away. You do not have to take (settle) anything.
Survivors Checklist: How I Escaped
ISBN: 9781098782702
Copyright © 2019 Nichole Shirell
Published by Nichole Shirell Enterprises
Image: nuphar lutea (pixabey)