For me, there is no rest only dedication.
I once believed that there was no limit.
I could do anything and be covered by my Savior's blood.
I thought the rules He spoke were for others.
It wasn’t for me! How could it be?
But, for those who had not accepted His love.
I would say foul things daily.
Maybe even on occasion cursed in Church.
I would party all night on Saturdays.
And, either sleep in on Sundays or stagger into the house of God late not completely sober.
Thinking all along I was okay. I was under his grace.
For, he died for me and I have a right to this place.
O, I know you’re not sitting in my seat!
I sit there every Sunday. Pastor expects to see me.
Even in all that bad attitude and disposition,
I just knew he continued to forgive me regardless of the situation.
Quick to say, God knows my heart. And yes to that I agree.
He knew how black and cold it could be.
Despite my inability to ask for forgiveness and repent,
I thought there was no limit because I proclaimed, declared, my love for Him to the end.
Then one day not long ago I learned the truth.
The truth of how I continued daily to abuse You
By my actions and my deeds.
My behavior was just as bad or worse than the actions of the Pharisees.
I was living a lie. I dishonored the Christian creed.
I was bad and I was not a representation of You.
I was spoiled. A privileged Christian singing Jesus Jesus always calling out to you.
But never really willing to give up the things of the world.
That true sacrifice. I wanted it all not just the cake but also the rice.
Not only did my heart ache when I realized my mistakes;
But, my thoughts raced thinking of all my examples of wrong.
What about the people who watched me?
Who did I lead astray?
Lord forgive me.
So now I write and I write. Knowing, I have much to do in this fight.
I give You my all.
I want only to serve You.
I pray Your truth of Salvation is spread all over the world.
For me, there is no rest only dedication.
Now, I am truly a Jesus Girl.
Cover Image Credit: Pexels
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